It’s difficult for Lili Thomas not to think of her own kids when she steps on stage every night in Dear Evan Hansen. Thomas plays Cynthia Murphy, a parent who is dealing with her teenage son’s death by suicide.
“When I saw the original Broadway cast, I was moved by the struggles of the mothers. They are real, authentic characters. I was really seeing the struggles of parenthood. I thought to myself, ‘If this is how mothers are going to be written in musical theatre, then this is a place I could come back to as a mother,” says Thomas, who took about five years off from performing to be at home with her kids.
Dear Evan Hansen, playing Altria Theater through October 23, is the deeply personal and profound musical about contemporary life for students and families. It starts with a letter that was never meant to be seen, a lie that grows, a life a young man, Evan Hansen, never dreamed he could have and the one thing he’s always wanted: a chance to fit in.
The musical, which has broken all kinds of box office records, won six Tony Awards, including Best Musical, the Drama League Award for Outstanding Musical Production, two Obie Awards, a Drama Desk Award, two Outer Critics Circle Awards, and two Helen Hayes Awards, as well as the 2018 Grammy Award for Best Musical Theater Album.
Thomas’ perspective as a mother has changed as she has gotten older, especially when it comes to the “kind of messages that I want to send out in the world,” she says.
Raising children during the age of social media creates different dynamics and struggles for parents. “The weight of the Internet takes on a more powerful meaning than before,” she says.
The musical features powerful and flawed family relationships, including that of Cynthia Murphy and her son. “As a parent, I can relate to Cynthia. She is failing in every attempt she is trying to make. She knows some things are not the right thing to do, but her doing them is rooted in her love for her kids. I can relate to her struggling to make decisions that you make because of the love you have for your kids,” Thomas says.
The show made her mindful of the communication that she has with her own kids.
“You have to show them how much you love them. I have to be fearless about my communication and how much I love my children,” she says. “Let them know they are not on their own, communicate unconditional love.”
The show does take an emotional toll on Thomas, whose character cries in almost every scene.
“It’s a lot,” she says. “There’s no way to be honest as an actor with your role and not think about the parallel in my life with my children. It’s hard not to bring the show home with me and to let the lines blur.”
Thomas grew up in a musical household in Westchester, New York, where she still lives with her family. Both of her parents are classical musicians. She started performing in musical theater around the age of nine.
When her parents would travel for work or during the summers, she would come to Richmond to stay with her grandparents.
“My grandparents are deceased, but I still have some aunts, uncles, and cousins in the Richmond and Charlottesville area,” she says. “It’s been about seven years since I have been back to Richmond and I’m excited to be back.”
She finds that being a mom and being on tour are a difficult combination at times.
“We FaceTime every day. My son does his reading homework with me every night at 7 o’clock. We have established a new normal for this tour,” she says. “My children know me to be a performer and they are happy that I get to do this again, especially coming back with such a poignant piece of theater. My daughter says she is endlessly proud that her mom is doing Dear Evan Hansen.”
Dear Evan Hansen is showing at Altria Theater through Sunday, October 23. For showtimes and tickets, go here.
Feature photo: North American touring company of Dear Evan Hansen. [Photo by Matthew Murphy]
